[ccordero44]

I hate this

I hate this feeling

I hate how things turned out

I hate that I fell in love with you

I hate that you don’t want me

I hate that you’re the first thing I think about when I wake

I hate that you’re the last thing I think about as I fall asleep

I hate that this feeling is so overwhelming I’m not able to just swallow it and bury it deep down

I hate that tears roll down my face uncontrollably every day

I hate that you touched my soul

I hate that I can’t even scratch your surface

I hate that it’s been eight months since you broke my heart

I hate that my heart continues to break

I hate it. All of it.

[purplebuddhaquotes]

“When you love someone, when you care for someone, you have to do it through the good and the bad. Not just when you’re happy and it’s easy.”

— Lauren Olivier

[ccordero44]

I used to think I meant something real to you at some point in time. I don’t know about that anymore.

[puttinglifeinwords]

“Just when I start to accept the overwhelming evidence that you don’t care about me,

you do something that gives me hope.”

And I can’t let go

[ccordero44]

Requited love is gentle.

It is kind.

It is patient.

It was a breathe of life to this husk of a man.

But when love is unrequited,

it is unforgiving.

It is cruel.

It is harsh.

It devastated and left only ash in its wake.

[ccordero44]

Last night as I lay in bed I still thought about you, but it was different this time. I wasn’t fantasizing about what could have been or thinking about all the laughs we’ve had. I lay there in disbelief as I realized I wasn’t looking forward to seeing you this morning. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing your smile. I wasn’t looking forward to hanging at your desk for our 45 minute morning weekend recap. All I feel when I look at you now is sadness. All I feel when I think about you now is sadness. Maybe the fire you ignited in my soul, the one that renewed my faith in the possibility of pure love, has finally died.

I read something the other day that answered the question of how could you kill yourself without actually dying. The answer was to love someone who doesn’t love you back. That’s it, I feel dead inside. I suppose it’s better than the feeling of my heart breaking indefinitely.

I suppose only time will tell what kind of person I’ll be at the end of all this.